Monday, July 25, 2016

June 2016 Bucket List: Absinthe & a Juice Cleanse

There are moments in your life when you will encounter something and realize "That should be on my bucket list!" And you will either mentally or actually add it and then immediately cross it off. I had one of those moments during the Days of the Dead Indianapolis weekend. One of the beloved regulars was unable to make it due to unfortunate circumstances and a slew of photos and videos were being taken for him. Saturday night a friend of mine brought down a bottle of absinthe for one of these videos.  I decided Absinthe should absolutely be part of my bucket list and gave it a shot. It smelled like black licorice so I was pretty sure it would be delicious and tried about a shot and a half. Not delicious guys. Nope. You get black licorice for about .5 seconds and then you get a horrible burning that tastes like betrayal. And then you taste that betrayal every time you belch until sometime the next day.  Absinthe will betray you, just remember that.

And now to the complete other end of the spectrum. It is Day 1 of my Juice Cleanse! I have had this on my bucket list from the very beginning. I finally caught Blueprint while it was 30% off and decided on 2 days of the lowest level and 1 of the highest. Then I got an email saying 2 of the juices in my cleanses were unavailable so they replaced my easiest days with the second level and swapped juices out for replacements they picked. I was pretty pissed. It's a good chunk of money to spend on juice and they did not even try to contact me to ask how I wanted to resolve the issue. I replied to the email and still have heard nothing, but the juices are already here so I'm guessing the company just does not care. So I'm off to a pretty awful start of my juice cleanse. I'm a coffee addict and the level I had ordered had coffee in the first juice, a nut milk. Now I get zero caffeine. So bring on the migraines! I am going to try to write a little bit after each juice, each day before I publish this, so here it goes!

^^I wrote that on Day 1 of the cleanse with every intention of actually writing after each juice, it didn't happen. I STILL have heard nothing back from Blueprint and it has been nearly a month, so I give their customer service zero stars.^^

I want to be clear that I am not advocating juice cleansing for health or weight loss purposes, I purely just wanted to see if I could do it. I am also *Not* being paid for this post or given any goodies. I paid for this cleanse out of my own pocket and these are my honest thoughts on it. With that said Day 1, Juice 1 started out with me in a great mood and high hopes about being able to complete a 3 day cleanse.  It was a green juice, clearly labeled 1, and for a green juice it was really delicious. The coffee cashew milk would have been a MUCH better start though... still angry over here Blueprint.  I followed the recommendation of starting each day with hot lemon water (a former habit of mine I need to re-start anyhow) and also hydrating with water, green, and herbal tea throughout the day between juices. After I took this selfie I walked in to work to learn there was no toilet paper and that the plan my supervisor made was to just not have toilet paper., because that makes sense? All this liquid meant I was going to be peeing more than when I was 9 months pregnant with Stormageddon dancing on my bladder so long story short I bought TP for the office.

Photo by Poison Megz

I was still feeling pretty good when it came time for Day 1, Juice 2. This one was called P.A.M. aka Pineapple, Apple, Mint and it was my favorite of the whole experience probably. It was pretty perfect for a summer juice and very refreshing. As you can see this one was also clearly labeled 2.
Photo by Poison Megz

Day 1, Juice 3 was the same as Day 1, Juice 1. It was less enjoyable the second time around. The only reason I'm including a photo is because this is where the enjoyable numbering of the cleanse juices stops...no number 3 on this bottle!
Photo by Poison Megz

Day 1, Juice 4 was a spicy lemonade. I was all about this one because spicy is my thing. Caffeine withdrawals were kicking in at this point and I could feel a migraine brewing. The juice was good though. I wasn't feeling hungry and that was surprising given how much I love food,
Photo by Poison Megz

Day 1, Juice 5 could not come fast enough. I only brought 4 with me to work and I misjudged the spacing. I was hungry when I got home and could not wait to grab this beet based juice. I love beets, not everyone does so I can see this being the juice that ruins it for some people. It was so earthy and felt very hydrating. The earthiness made me miss food a little less and was a nice change from the previous juices of the day. P.S. how amazing is it that my baby blue lips lasted ALL day? This is legit just Hard Candy lipstick I got for like $5 at Walmart.
Photo by Poison Megz

Day 1, Juice 6 was my third favorite of the cleanse. This was another cashew milk replacement so I was glad that I didn't hate it since Blueprint didn't care to contact me to choose to replacements like any other business would have done since it's my money and therefore should be my choice what is being purchased. It was like the spicy lemonade, but also had apple and ginger. Photo features my chocolate mint plant that I have since managed to kill... green thumb I have not.
Photo by Poison Megz

On Day 2 I had elected to try the hardest level of the cleanse instead of a second day of the same thing, with the hardest level last. This is the Inspiration cleanse and it is almost entirely green juices. Now I enjoy a good green juice, but this one had me nervous because of how intense it seemed. I tried to go in to Day 2, Juice 1 with a positive attitude. Watercress Warrior. It wasn't bad, I think the lemon balances all the green stuff out nicely.  I did notice most of these Juices had very low calories,so I expected the food cravings to go up on this day. 
Photo by Poison Megz

Day 2, Juice 2 wound up being my least favorite of the cleanse. Bell Pepper and Red onion are strong flavors and that is all I could taste in Dandelion Drive. I was really hoping for the delicate flavor of dandelion, but it was overpowered. And I knew this juice was coming up again 3 juices from now and that made me a little sad. My caffeine withdrawal migraine was in full-swing at this point.
Photo by Poison Megz

Day 2, Juice 3 was that same green one I had twice the previous day. I enjoyed it more today following up the one I did not love.
Photo by Poison Megz

Day 2, Juice 4 wound up being my second favorite of the cleanse because it featured so many things I love. This one helped me survive cooking with clients. The spicy level on this one was awesome paired with the cooling you get from cucumber. 
Photo by Poison Megz

Day 2, Juices 5 & 6 did not have selfies because they were repeats. Juice 5 was a repeat of Day 2, Juice 2 aka the one I did not love. I continued to not love it while I watched Chris and the boys eat their dinner, spaghetti. Spaghetti isn't a must-have food for me and we have it weekly but I would have taken it over a repeat of this juice in an instant. Juice 6 was a repeat of Day 1, Juice 5 aka the beet one.  At least this was pleasant. I enjoyed ending with the spicy apple lemonade the prior day so much more, but this was nice also. Oh! and this super cheap ELF lipstick lasted all day too! Day 3 was the same juices as Day 1 so there is not much more to say. I did go in to Day 3 still feeling pretty great though, other than the migraine. I mean for no makeup I look pretty refreshed, so I guess I was at least sleeping well during the cleanse.
Photo by Poison Megz

I continued to love the Pineapple, Apple, Mint juice. I need to devise an agua fresca recipe based on this. It would also be really good with rum or bourbon I believe. You know, if you want to use pricey juice for your cocktail that is. 
Photo by Poison Megz

The food struggle was a little harder the last day, but I never really felt hungry through the experience as long as I paced myself properly. The only time I struggled really was when I did not bring enough juice with me to work. I did not cave, I did not have a nibble of food. I was shockingly not miserable. My migraine faded away shortly in to Day 3 so it was one of the shortest I've ever had. Nothing weird happened with my stomach, the only bathroom issue was how much I had to pee. I never felt weak. I powered through it and finished Day 3 strong. 
Photo by Poison Megz

I probably won't do a full cleanse again, but I can definitely see replacing some of my snacking habits with some of these juices. I still wish I had been able to try the cleanses as I ordered them, but since ordering I have noticed the cleanse I ordered with the coffee cashew milk has totally disappeared from the site. I would guess it was a website error and had not been taken down before being discontinued, but since Blueprint failed to respond to me I will never know. It would have been nice to choose my replacements, because I would have loved to try their Watermelon juice they have every summer, but what they sent wasn't horrible and I guess that's what really matters here.  The migraine was really the only negative effect that I had. Chris didn't murder me so that's also a bonus. I'm pretty sure he was fully prepared for horrible mood swings and illness, and luckily neither of those happened. 

So here are the links to the cleanses I tried, please note that since removing cashew milks from their site they have updated the cleanses. The last juice of my Day 1 & 3 is different from what is in the cleanse now.

Day 1 & 3 Renovation Cleanse
Day 2 Inspiration Cleanse

And that is pretty much all there is to say about the juice cleanse experience. Until next time!

xoxo
Poison Megz

P.S. This whole experience with all the selfies made me decide to get bangs to hide my giant forehead. The stylist did not cut them straight nor how I wanted. I hated them for at least 10 days, now I am starting to like them. However I maintain Bangs Are Always A Mistake. Especially during an Indiana Summer. 
Photo by Poison Megz

P.P.S Despite Blueprint being unable to answer my CS email.... they apparently had the time to like every photo on my Instagram from the cleanse.